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Post by LilNinjaWolf on Aug 27, 2009 7:54:04 GMT -6
Chapter 17
Shade blinks looking around. Everything is blurred. It all feels... he doesn't know. Not right. Yeah that's it. Something seems not right, but familiar at the same time. Slowly the images around him clear, allowing him to see everything. He sits in the center of a training dojo, a mat beneath him. A few other mats are scattered around the room. A weapons rack sits near the door adorned with many types of weapons. No one else is in the room. He finds his hand moving of their own accord, polishing a long gleaming sword. He tries to stop what he's doing, but he can't. He has no control over what is happening. As he realizes this, he growls to himself. It's another one of those dang flashbacks! They are so infuriating!
His hands keep polishing the long blade until he sees his reflection in it. What he sees startles him. Chocolate brown eyes stare up at him from behind a blue mask. His skin is green. How can he look like this? Hasn't he always been human? Wearing black gloves for so long, he hasn't seen his fingers in a very long time. He stares at them now, the three green fingers holding the hilt of the sword. It's not long until the rest of his body starts moving again. He grabs another blade, it's matching twin from the looks of it, and starts to polish that one as well. Why did he have such a fascination with cleaning these katana blades?
“Leo?”
His head slowly tilts upward, towards the entrance to the dojo. “Yeah Mikey?”
Wait... his name isn't Leo. And why would he answer Mikey? He's an enemy.
Mikey walks into the dojo, staring at him with puppy dog eyes, lower lip out slightly. “Nobody wants to play with me.”
“What did Raph say?”
Mikey blinks and straightens his pose, putting his hands on his hips. “If you think I'm going to come down there and play those stupid video games right now, you're absolutely stoned!” His voice is low and growly to match that of Raphael's voice. Once that was done, he grins stupidly.
A smile stretches across his face after Mikey's impersonation.
Wait just a minute! Since when did he, Shade, hater of these turtle, find that amusing?!?
“Raph working on his bike again?” he found himself asking.
Mikey nods. “Yeah. Second time this morning. You'd think he'd fallen in love with that thing or something.” He makes a face and snickers.
“What about Don?”
Mikey disappears and comes back with a chair. He sit on it and puts his arms up like he's typing on a computer. “Not now Mikey... still working... I'm almost done... maybe later... Go ask Raph...” his voice imitating Don.
“I already asked him,” Mikey continued in his normal voice. “He said I would be stoned to think he'd come down and play.”
Mikey's voice once again changed to match Don's. “You can't turn into stone Mikey.”
The orange banded turtle erupts into laughter.
He finds himself laughing along with Mikey, watching the other turtle soon fall out of the chair from hysterical laughter. He sets his gleaming sword aside and stands, helping Mikey up.
“Thanks bro,” Mikey says standing and wiping tears from his eyes.
He nods. “Come on. I'll play with you.”
Mikey stares at him. “Really Leo?” he asks hopeful.
He nods. “Really.”
Mikey let out a whoop and dashed off.
He shook his head, replacing his swords in his sheaths. Walking towards the door of the dojo, he was nearly bowled over, arms wrapping around him.
“Thank you Leo! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”
He just grins as the image fades away. When they clear again, Mikey is no where in sight. He's now in the lab, facing Don, who is sleeping at his computer again. He mentally shakes his head. Man that dang turtle is going to get a backache like that. Not that Shade cares any, but he seems to in this flashback or whatever it is as this blue masked turtle. He doesn't really want to believe it was a flashback anymore. If it was true, then Mikey really is his brother. He doesn't like that idea very much.
He walks forward and puts his hand on Don's shoulder, nudging him. “Wake up Don.”
Mumbling greets him.
He shook him slightly harder. “Come on Don. You'll get a backache.”
“Almost done...”
“Donatello.”
Don sits up quickly, looking around the room. His eyes finally rest on his brother. “Oh um... hi Leo.”
He crosses his arms. “Do you know what time it is?”
Don looks around for a clock. “3:23am to be precise.”
He stares at Don.
“Yeah yeah I know. Got to bed.”
He chuckles. “Yep.”
Don smiles slightly and stands up, stretching his back. “See you in the morning Leo. Well... it is morning... See you in a few hours.”
He smiles. “Night Donny. Err... morning.”
Don grins and disappears out of the lab.
The images fade again, becoming clear back in the dojo. He blinks looking around. When is this flashback going to end? None of the others ever lasted this long. Never. He would have growled if he could, but he doesn't, can't being more like it.
His katana are in his hands. He faces a dark green turtle in a red mask. Raphael. He doesn't look too happy. But he seems to always look that way.
“Ya know I'm gonna whip your butt Leo,” Raph taunts.
“Really? I don't think so Raph.”
“And why not?” Raph spin a sai, flipping it up and catching it by the hilt.
He just shrugs. “I just don't think so.”
“Well let me prove ya wrong there bro.” Raph smirks and darts forward.
Their blades clash and gleam, twang and bang together. Each punch is dodged, each swing of the blade is ducked. He jumps and swings his leg around, missing his target.
Oh yeah. That turtle is so going down! Shade actually likes this part, loving to see that red masked turtle go down.
Raph rolls to the right and lands a kick to Leo's side.
He flips to the right and rights himself.
Oh no you don't!
He waits until Raph gets close enough, then raises his leg, kicking Raph in the chest, flinging a punch to the red turtle's jaw.
Yes!
Raph wiped his mouth and looked up at Leo. “Lucky shot.”
“Not lucky. Just practiced.” He held his hand out to Raph to help him up.
No! What are you doing?! Don't help him up! Why should he help that dang turtle up? It is unthinkable. He's supposed to kill him.
Raph took his hand and stood, smirking. “I'll get ya next time bro.”
“Yeah right.” He shook his head. “When that happens I'll drink coffee instead of tea for a month.”
Raph laughed. “I'm gonna hold ya to that Leo.”
He laughed as well.
The images fade again, this time replaced by a small room. A screen for a door is shut. A small table sits in the center of the room, two candles on either side, a bed in the corner. A robed rat sits at one side of the table. He himself sits at the other side. When is this going to end?!
The rat, Splinter, hands him a cup of tea. He takes it and starts to sip it.
Wait! He can't drink that! The rat could have poisoned it!
But he can't stop. He keeps drinking it until it's half empty. Only then does he set the cup down on the table and finally look at Splinter.
“What is wrong my son?”
He sighs, not seeming to want to tell the rat what was wrong.
“Leonardo.”
He looks up into the rat's eyes. They look gentle and caring.
“You can tell me my son.”
He sighs again. “I never meant for Mikey to get hurt.”
Splinter watches him for a moment before responding. He nods. “Though you care a great deal for your brothers, it was not your fault Michelangelo was hurt tonight. Donatello is patching him up and Raphael has surprisingly not left his side. If it wasn't for you Leonardo, I might have lost my youngest son. For that, I am in your debt.” His head bows.
He stares, completely floored. Him? In Leo's debt? Now that couldn't be. He would never do anything for that rat.
But he finds his head bowing. “As you wish father.”
Splinter looks up at him, a gentle smile on his face. “You must get your own injuries attended to my son.”
He looks down to see blood on his arm and leg, dozens of cuts across them. He nods and stands, limping to the door. Looking back, he looks at Splinter, sees the hope and strength in those eyes. He smiles back and continues out of the room.
The image fades to black, leaving him in a void of unconsciousness. He can't wake up, but the flashback is gone as well. Well good riddance! He didn't need to see all that. And yet... for some strange reason... he did. He can't remember what his skin color is anymore. Is it really green? Does he really have three fingers? And why does he dream about those three turtles and the rat. It's like he knows them. But he doesn't. He can't. Why would he? He just can't. If he knew them, if he was close to them, then... what do they think of him, doing all that he had done. He tried to kill the one called... what was it? Raphael. Yeah that was it. But no! He refused to believe that. He was who he was. And he was no freaking turtle!
Splinter's voice from earlier rang through his head. “You must calm down my son.”
Why had the rat called him son? He thinks back to the fourth part of his recent flashback. Of him having tea with Splinter and talking civilly. The kind words. The understanding...
The darkness disappeared. He found himself looking around the mostly empty lab. Raphael lay sleeping halfway across the room. The others were gone. He looks down at the straps, remembering why he is strapped down. How he had tried to kill Raph.... Raph. His own brother. His own flesh and blood. A lone tear snuck down his face. He is not Shade. No. His name is Leonardo. And he had just tried to kill his own family. Every single one of them. More tears snake their way down until he can no longer hold them back. He sobs quietly, then loudly, horrified at what had happened.
To be continued...
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Post by kat on Sept 1, 2009 14:26:32 GMT -6
Aww, poor Leo. I hope the others can help him. (and keep Raph from hurting him...)
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Post by LilNinjaWolf on Sept 1, 2009 18:36:11 GMT -6
Yeah that'd be helpful.
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Post by LilNinjaWolf on Sept 7, 2009 15:12:02 GMT -6
Chapter 18 Raph lay in the deep black void. There was no pain. No worries. No family. No... Leo... Leo. Why didn't Leo remember who he was? Why did he have to get the blasted amnesia? And how could they help him remember who he was? Without being killed would be nice.
He could feel himself start to stir and with that a stinging pain in his shoulder. Why did his shoulder hurt? Had he run into the Foot or Purple Dragons and gotten into a fight? No. That didn't sound right. It was a fight though. A fight with... Leo! He practically growled. The idiot had stolen his sai from him. Again! Two or three times if he remembered right. Frustration immediately flooded him. If he wanted his brother back he would have to do it his own way. The way he had offered to do, but was shot down by Don. Though this time nothing was going to stop him from getting his brother back.
Pain coarse through his shoulder in waves, jerking him awake and into the land of the living. Raph looked around, hearing a strange sound. Leo was awake with his head turned away from him. He grit his teeth, rage blinding him to what the sound was. He only heard the pounding of his heart in his ears, The raging anger coursed through his blood. He would get his brother back. Right now!
Raph leaped off the cot he lay on, ignoring his pained shoulder, and strode over to Leo. He was about to pull his fist back to punch Leo in the head, but then froze, thinking better of it. He turned and stalked over to Don's desk, finding a solid glass bottle. This would be hard enough to bring some sense into that mixed up brain of Leonardo's. He snatched it up and returned to Leo, who still refused to acknowledge him. Good. It would be much easier then. He raised the bottle above his head. “It's for your own good,” he muttered. His hand came down, seemingly in slow motion until it stopped, two inches from Leo's skull. He froze wondering why he had stopped. He wanted Leo to remember him so badly. He wanted the turtle to stop stealing his sai from him!
“Raphael! Are you out of your mind?!” Don yelled.
Raph slowly looked over at Don, who held his hand in a vice grip. The bottle was jerked from his hand. “I want him back Donatello! I want him to stop stealing my sai!” His voice lowered dangerously. “And I'll do anything to get him back!”
“Dang it Raph! He is back!” Don glared at him.
Raph scowled at him, surprised by Don's outburst. He crossed his arms across his chest and glared, calming a little. “What do you mean?” He wasn't buying this at all.
“Why don't you have a look my son,” Splinter said softly, but firmly.
Raph sighed and looked over at where Leo lay, surprised to see both Splinter and Mikey on the other side of Leo's cot, both had sad expressions in their eyes. He gulped afraid to look at Leo. He quieted enough to finally hear the noise he had heard before, but was never able to make out. He listened to it and was shocked to hear that somebody was crying. He slowly looked down at Leo, who crying his eyes out, head turned to the wall, weakly pulling at the straps that still held him down. Raph swallowed and turned, running out of the lab, out of the lair, and into the sewer tunnels, ignoring the voices calling after him. He ran and ran, pushing himself to go further. He had given into his blind rage and almost hurt his brother. He could have killed him. All because he wasn't patient enough to wait for Leo to remember them on his own. Or forgive him from doing things he wouldn't normally do had he been his normal self. He had probably terrified Leo by his act. Scared him witless for no good reason.
He climbed up the ladder to the surface and bounded up the closest fire escape up to the rooftops, racing across them as if just going too slow would burn his feet. He couldn't escape the pounding of his heart, the shock he had felt when he had finally heard Leo's crying. It took a lot to break his older brother, a lot to just make him shed a single tear, but what Raph had just about done had probably burst the rest of the dam holding back all the tears, all the shock, all the hurt.
Just about ready to scream out his frustration, a lone clink echoes through the night air catching Raph before his next leap. He slid to a stop and listened, his heart pounding from all his frustration. More pounding reached his ears until a crash of shattering glass broke the stillness of the night. He ran over to the other edge of the rooftop and slowly peered over the edge, smirking at the sight. A band of seven Purple Dragons were just disappearing into a jewelry store. His smirk widened a little more. Just what he needed to take out his angry and helpless frustration. Slipping over the edge, he landed silently down on the fire escape, stealthily slipping down into the alley.
“This is too easy,” one Purple Dragon boasted and laughed loudly.
Another hit the first guy over the head. “Don't jinx it stupid. You know those green freaks are often out here. I'd rather not see them tonight. So keep it down,” he griped harshly.
“Ooooooh, you're scared of some stupid lizards,” another cracked, laughing his head off.
“I am not!”
“Sure ya ain't,” the fourth snorted.
“Shut up and finish!” a tall guy ordered, crossing his arms and glaring at all the Purple Dragons who had stopped to argue.
The four Purple Dragons ran into the store without a word, their leader following them as two came out caring boxes, smiling as if they had just won the jack pot.
“We did it! We really did it! We're in!” one gloated.
“Yeah. Honorary Purple Dragons! Told ya we could do it,” the other agreed.
“And no turtles. No need to worry.”
“Oh I wouldn't say that exactly,” a deep voice said casually.
The two Purple Dragons froze, looking at the shadows as if it would jump out and kill them.
“Who... Who's there?” one piped up.
“Just yar worst night mare ya scaredy cat.” Raph slipped out of the shadows, flinging a punch to the first Dragon's jaw and spinning to kick the other in the back of the knees. He watched them fall with satisfaction, but wished for his sai. He had been so horrified by seeing Leo back to normal and actually crying that he had forgotten to find his sai before running out. But looking at these pathetic Purple Dragon thugs, he didn't need them to take care of this tonight. He smirked, punching one fist into the other palm. “So... ya want ta run like a chicken or fight like a man?”
The two men looked up at him from the ground, their boxes laying haphazardly beside them. With round eyes they jumped up and sprinted down the alley.
Raph chuckled dryly. “Guess they're just a couple of chickens.” He shook his head and snuck into the opening into the jewelry store, freezing as he stepped in.
“Well, well, well,” a voice spoke up amused. “Looky what we found.”
Raph looked at the four Dragons and their leader and stood straight, arms crossing in front of him. “I think I'd reverse that and say look what I found. 'Cuz I just see a few chickens just like your buddies outside. Or... they were outside.” He snickered. “They run fast.”
The leader growled. “You won't walk away from this,” he snarled, pulling a lead pipe from the loop on his belt, hitting it into his open palm.
“Ya want ta bet?”
“With a lizard?”
“Turtle.”
“Whatever! Get him!” the leader barked at the four Dragons.
The four lurched forward, two carrying pipes like their leader, the other two with only their fists.
Raph got into a defensive pose and ducked under one punch, lifting the guy up and throwing him into the wall closest to him. Seeing the guy slump, Raph turned to the next one, spinning to the right just in time to avoid getting his skull horribly dented by the long pipe. He spin kicked him into the third one, smirking at a satisfied crunch before the two lay still. He eyed the fourth. “You in the mood for any broken bones?”
The fourth looked more like a kid with his dark hair, possibly not more than fifteen years old.
“Kill him!” the Dragon leader roared.
The boy had eyes wide as saucers as he stared at Raph. He looked to the opening in the wall and took off to the hole like his life depended on it.
“Smart kid,” Raph smirked, eying the leader.
The large guy scoffed and lunched forward, attempting to whack Raph in the stomach with his pipe, only to succeed in swiping at air.
Raph grew amused at the stunned look in the Dragon's eyes. This was just too easy. And fun. He snickered and kicked the guy in the back, slipping around and giving him a wicked left hook punch to the jaw.
The Dragon stumbled back, tripping over the unconscious bodies of two of his Purple Dragon buddies and fell backwards, slamming his head against a display case with a shattering crash.
Raph crossed his arms and stood straight, glaring at all four Dragons lying unconscious. “Serves them right,” he muttered. Turning, he slipped out of the jewelry store just as sirens started blaring near him. He slipped up to the rooftops and just ran, wishing that fight could have just lasted forever, taking his focus off his near mistake to his brother and his blaring pain in his shoulder. He had been such in his element while fighting the Purple Dragons, he hadn't notice the pain. Thought now it blasted at him like it was on fire with no chance of being put out. By the time he stopped running, it had begun to pour. Standing on the edge of the rooftop, all he could do was just scream into the howling wind and rain, afraid to go back home. Afraid of the fact that Leonardo, his precious older brother, might be actually terrified of him now.
To be continued...
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Post by LilNinjaWolf on Sept 7, 2009 21:00:25 GMT -6
haha Another chapter. Who hoo! I'm on a roll! Chapter 19Don sipped at his full cup of coffee. He had gotten it an hour ago, yet it was still full. He had no idea what to do anymore. There really was nothing he could do. Leo had to remember them on their own. There was no way to force the right memories to the forefront to make Leo remember who he was or who his family is. It would just take time. Yet even that thought was depressing to the brainy turtle. He longed for his older brother to be fully back. It had been so long. He was elated when they had found out Shade was Leo. His brother wasn't dead. Yet in a way, he was. With no memory of them, Don was horrified at first. Flustered at the fact that Leo thought they were his enemies. Don took another sip of the coffee and sighed. The beverage just didn't seem to be helping him today. “It will be alright my son,” Splinter spoke up from across the table, cradling a tea cup in his hands. Don nods mutely. He knew it would be. He was just worried. What if he cracked from worry about this before Leo came fully back to them? What if Raph got too impatient and snapped? Would Mikey make it through this if Leo never remembered them. He knew it could possibly be true that Leo would never remember them. He didn't have the heart to tell the others that small detail. He didn't even know what to do if that came true. He only hoped that Leo would indeed remember them. And soon would be nice too. “Will Leo wake up soon?” Mikey asked. A pile of chips sat in front of him, but had been untouched for the whole hour the three of them had been sitting at the table. “Yeah. He should,” Don said slowly. “Raph should wake up soon as well.” “Don't think he's gonna be too happy about what Leo tried to do to him,” Mikey whispered. Don sighed. “Yeah. I know.” He slowly stood. “I think I'll go check on them. Maybe one of them is awake.” Splinter nodded. “We will stay here my son. Do not worry. We will all gather around Leonardo until he remembers us and stick with him always.” Don nodded again. He knew it was true and was glad for it, yet it didn't really help him feel better right now. He turned and walked out of the kitchen, leaving his coffee behind. He really didn't feel like drinking it anymore. Halfway to the lab he stopped, thinking that he had heard something. Listening a little closer it sounded like soft crying, which suddenly got a little louder. He blinked wondering who was crying. He started walking again, quickening his pace and peered into the lab. What he saw widened his eyes and almost froze him in his spot. Raph was awake and holding a thick glass bottle over his head like he was going to hit Leo with it. Below him, Leo head was turned away as he sobbed. Blinking, he jerked into action and ran forward, time slowing as Raph's arm came down. Grabbing Raph's wrist with mere inches to spare before the bottle hit Leo's head. Don sighed relieved then yelled at Raph. “Raphael! Are you out of your mind?!” Raph's head slowly turned to glare at Don, his knuckles turning white on the bottle. Don glared back at him and jerked the bottle out of Raph's hand with a hard yank before Raph could blink. “I want him back Donatello! I want him to stop stealing my sai!” Raph's voice lowered dangerously. “And I'll do anything to get him back!” “Dang it Raph! He is back!” Don glared at him. What was Raph thinking? He couldn't force Leo to remember by whacking him on the head. He could have killed Leo with that act. His blood pulsing through him with his anger, his heart beat in his ears, he barely heard Splinter and Mikey rush to the lab, stopping at the doorway. Raph scowled at his brother after Don yelled the second time. Crossing his arm, his glare turned just a bit less lethal. “What do you mean?” “Why don't you have a look my son,” Splinter said softly, but firmly. Raph sighed and looked over at where Leo lay. He seemed surprised at what he saw. Don turned his gaze down to Leo, who was crying harder now, head turned to the wall, weakly pulling at the straps that still held him down. Don's heart broke at the sight. They had to help him. They just had to. Before he could make another move, Raph was running past him and out of the lab. “Raphael!” Splinter yelled. “Come back Raph!” Mikey called. Don turned and stared at the retreating form of his brother. “Raph,” he whispered calming down, not being one to hold onto his anger. “Raph!” he called louder. Though it was no use, the red banded turtle had disappeared into the sewers without another word. Sighing, Don turned back around to turn his attention to Leo. They had to calm him down. After that they would figure out what to do about Raph. He swallowed, knowing this would not be easy. “Leo,” he tried carefully. Leo didn't seem to hear him and continued lightly pulling at the straps, trying to pull away from them. “Calm down Leo,” Don said softly, putting a hand on Leo's wrist, trying to soothe him. “We'll get you undone. It's ok. You're safe.” Leo continued to twist around, acting as if he hadn't heard them. Splinter came up beside Leo and put his hand on Leo's forehead. “Leonardo. My son.” He sighed softly. “It is alright. Be still so Donatello can undue the straps.” He put his other hand on Leo's hand and squeezed it. Leo looked up at Splinter with dull eyes, biting his lip. He stopped crying so hard, but some tears still trickled down, his breathing hard and raspy. Don moved fast, getting Leo free. He was afraid Leo might hyperventilate with how he was still breathing hard, but he had to get Leo free first so he could calm down. “Mikey, help me.” “Ok,” Mikey nodded and started at Leo's other side, going as fast as Don, but fumbling with the straps, which slowed him down a little. As soon as Leo was free, Don knelt down next to Leo and put his hand on Leo's arm. “Leo. Leo look at me.” Waiting until Leo did so Don continued. “It's going to be alright. Ok? You're safe.” Leo nodded very slightly. “My son, you must calm down,” Splinter said softly. “I don't want you to hyperventilate. It's not good on your body,” Don said concerned. “Just take a deep breath.” Leo did so, managing to mostly stop all his crying so only a tear or two escaped down his cheek. Splinter then reached over and wrapped his son in his furry embrace. Don looked over at Mikey's teary eyes through his own teary gaze he hadn't realized he had and leaned down, joining in on the hug. He quickly felt Mikey join in as well. Don bit his lip to keep from crying. This was so hard. It was going to be just as hard the next few days. Heck, the next few moments were going to be just a struggle as right now was. He couldn't fathom being in Leo's position. After another minute, they all pulled away and Leo looked up at them sniffling. He chewed on his lip, much calmer by appearance, but they all knew he was far from being calm. “Where's Raph?” Leo asked hoarsely. Don looked at Mikey and Splinter before returning his gaze to Leo. “We don't know.” “What do you mean?” “He just left as soon as he...” Don stopped not knowing what to say. He didn't want to tell Leo that Raph almost killed him if he didn't already know that. “He ran up topside,” Mikey said quickly. “He's afraid of me,” Leo whispered. “No. No that's not it,” Don said quickly. This was quickly turning from bad to worse. “Then why isn't he here?” Leo whimpered. “My son,” Splinter spoke up. “He is only hurting and missing you very much.” Leo shook his head. “He left. He barely looked at me. I saw him. I heard you yell at him Donny.” Don stood there slack jawed. He had heard. Leo had heard what he said to Raph. He knew what Raph had tried to do to him. Leo turned over on his side, facing away from them and curled into a ball, silently shaking. Don's heart broke even more at the sight. How were they going to fix this? He didn't have a clue. Leo knew everything. There was no doubt in his mind by this reaction from Leo that he knew of everything he had done while he thought he was Shade. “Michelangelo, go get a blanket,” Splinter said softly. “Then meet Donatello and I in the kitchen.” Mikey nodded and raced out of the lab. 'Kitchen?' Don mouthed to Splinter. Splinter nodded. Don hoped Splinter had an idea, because he was fresh out of them. As soon as Mikey got back, Splinter took the blanket from him and gently laid it on Leo's shaking form. “Get some rest my son.” Leo didn't answer. Don bit his lip once more and looked at Splinter, who cocked his head to the doorway. He nodded to his sensei and turned to Leo. “We'll be in the kitchen if you need anything Leo.” Still no answer from Leo, not even a twitch to let them know he heard. “Leo?” Mikey asked. “Ok,” Leo finally whispered. Don silently walked out of the lab, his head down, following closely behind Mikey and Splinter. Once in the kitchen, he dropped down into a chair at the table. He rubbed a hand over his face. “This is such a mess,” he moaned softly. “I know,” Mikey said, plopping down beside Don. “What do we do sensei?” Splinter stood next to the table, both hands resting on his walking stick. He stared down at the grain in the wood table. “I believe the first step to healing is to allay Leonardo's fear that Raphael is afraid of him. To do that, you both must bring Raphael home.” “That would probably be best,” Don agreed. “Leo doesn't really want to listen to us.” “What makes you think he'd listen to Raph?” Mikey asked. Don thought about that. It was a good question. The two fought so much before Leo disappeared, he also had to wonder if this would work. The other thought that worried him was trying to get Raph to come home to comfort Leo. That was just as hard a task as getting Leo to calm down just seconds ago. “He is in need to hear your brother's reassurances that he does not fear him,” Splinter answered. “I guess anything is worth a try if it gets Leo back,” Don finally said. “Yeah, guess so,” Mikey said sadly. “But why not just call him?” Don sighed. “You know Raph. He doesn't answer his cell when he's upset.” Mikey chuckled dryly. “Yeah. That's true.” He quickly sobered. “So how do we find him?” “I'll get my tracker and we'll trace the signal in his cell.” “Ok. I'll meet ya by the door,” Mikey said. Don nodded and stood. “Good luck my sons,” Splinter encouraged them. “Thanks sensei,” both turtles said in unison. Splinter nodded with hope in his eyes. Don turned and left the kitchen, hoping as well that this would work. If it didn't, he didn't know what would. Back in the lab, he quickly grabbed his tracker and stopped next to Leo. The blue banded turtle didn't move. Don was almost afraid Leo had stopped breathing, but watching his chest, it still rose and fell smoothly. “We'll bring Raph back,” he said softly. Swallowing hard, he left the lab and joined Mikey at the door. “Let's go,” he whispered. Mikey sighed and nodded as the two of them headed out into the sewers to find their red banded brother. “I hope this works.” “Me too Mikey. Me too,” Don answered dejectedly. To be continued...
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Post by kat on Sept 8, 2009 3:27:59 GMT -6
Two chapters in a row!! Yay! Wow! I hope that Don and Mikey find Raph before anything bad happens to him. Being out in a down pour and injured can't be good! Poor Leo...poor everyone! This is going to be a struggle for them. Looking forward to your next update!
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Post by LilNinjaWolf on Sept 8, 2009 6:58:39 GMT -6
Yeah, not to smart of Raph is it?
Hope to have the next chap up soon.
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Post by LilNinjaWolf on Dec 15, 2009 13:04:56 GMT -6
I think I'm gonna post the rest of these chapters so it's a finished fic here. Chapter 20 Leo lay curled on his side, his eyes squeezed shut. He couldn't believe what he had done. He, Leonardo, to his own brothers. It was unimaginable, unthinkable. Attacking his own family like a mercenary. He began to shake again after they left. And Raph... oh Raph. His own brother was terrified of him. He just knew it. He could see it in his eyes. His brother had tried to kill him with that bottle, just like he himself had tried to kill Raph. Why did Don have to stop him? He couldn't live with what had happened. Turning his back on his family... He bit his lip, silent tears slipping down. Footsteps echoed through the quiet room, stopping Leo's shaking form. He didn't bother turning to look who it was. He couldn't even look anyone in the eyes now. He heard someone shuffling around before the sound of footsteps stopped behind him, inches from the cot he lay on. “We'll bring Raph back,” a voice whispered. Leo immediately recognized it as Don's. Waiting until Don had left, Leo curled up a bit more. He didn't want to be near Raph or anyone else. He was a monster now. Sure he didn't want Raph hurt and wanted him home for the others, but he couldn't risk being near anyone anymore. What if he suddenly had an urge to attack one of his family members? He remembered everything, including that fateful night caught in the burning building. Oh how he wished he had never stepped foot in that building. Then maybe he wouldn't be in this mess. But wishing wouldn't change anything. He would have to deal with this... somehow. He shuddered thinking about earlier, waking from that final flashback. He was shocked at what had happened, remembering who he is and what he had done. The tears had just come of their own accord. Then he found himself strapped down, not in some Foot building, but his own home! His family didn't trust him. And why should they when he tried to kill Raph? He had even said he was going to kill the rest of them. He had tried to pull free of the straps, but hadn't really wanted to. He shouldn't be free. Not after all he had done. A hand gently rested on his forehead, startling Leo from his dark thoughts. He hadn't heard anyone come in, much less approach him. “We are here for you my son,” Splinter said softly. How could they be here for him? After all he'd done. Leo nearly shuddered at the thought. It just couldn't be possible. “Don't think on what has happened,” Splinter continued. “Think on your family. Your family who will always forgive you.” Forgive him? Leo almost laughed. How could they forgive this one? If he were in their shoes, so to speak, he didn't know if he would be able to forgive something like this. Betrayal by one of your own family members. Didn't matter that he didn't remember them due to some sort of amnesia. He wasn't supposed to forget them. Never. *** Raph stood on the rooftops, breathing hard and glaring down at the city. He had taken out more than a dozen purple dragons and a few Foot ninjas, wearing himself down and taking out his frustrations on anyone who got in the way. It did nothing to calm him, not even in the slightest, which fueled his frustrations even more. He was still filled with rage and despair, though he had a hard time admitting to the second part. He just couldn't forgive himself for what he nearly did to Leo. He let out a heart wrenching scream that echoed into the still night. “Yeesh Raph. You're acting like something just died,” Mikey joked. Raph spun around surprised. His gaze hardened into a glare at his young orange banded brother. “Shut it Mike! I don't need your smart aleck remarks right now!” “Calm down Raph,” Don said from beside Mikey. The brainy turtle did not look happy at all. Raph snorted and turned back to the roof's edge, glaring at the ground below them. “What are you two doing out here?” “Coming to find you,” Mikey answered. “Why?” Raph asked bitterly. It wasn't like they needed him right now. They had to take care of Leo. Undo the damage he himself had done to his older brother. “Because whether or not you realize or accept it Raph, we need you,” Don said firmly. Raph turned and half glared at Don, not expecting this firmness from Don. Maybe Leo a year ago, but not now. And not from Don. Especially not Mikey either, who stood with his arms crossed, staring at him like he wasn't going to move until Raph gave in. That was new. He huffed and turned away again. “You don't need me.” “Yes we do,” Mikey argued. “Leo needs you,” Don said softly. “He looks like he's going to tear himself apart.” Raph gritted his teeth. Leo wouldn't do that. Nothing could make him do that. “We can't loose Leo again,” Mikey begged. “I.... I can't deal with that. Not again Raph.” Raph's fists shook at his side. He squeezed his eyes shut. Leo didn't need him. That was all a big lie. “No.” “No?!” Don demanded. “Why not?” “He doesn't need me!” Raph shouted, spinning around to face Don and Mikey. He wanted to believe them. That Leo really needed him, but that would be impossible with how he had just tried to kill Leo. He knew that Leo would know what he had tried to do. Leo knew everything that went on around him. “He doesn't now and he never will!” “Yes he does!” Mikey yelled back, making Don and Raph flinch, they eyes going wide. “Dang it Raph! Why do you have to be such a hothead? Why do you have to go storm off when we need you? Why do you have to be mad at someone who needs your help?” He glared at Raph once more before stopping off. “I'm going home to try to help Leo. Stay here for all I care! I sure don't!” And with that Mikey disappeared over the edge of the building's fire escape. Raph stood there stunned. Looking at Don, apparently he was too. Mikey never had outbursts like that. Ok... not never, but it was a very rare occurrence. Don looked at him, opened his mouth, then shut it shrugging. “He's right.” He sighed and followed after Mikey. Alone on the rooftop, staring at where his two brothers had just stood, he couldn't help but want to follow them. He could, but didn't want to at the same time. What if Leo really did need him? Turning evil was Leo's worst nightmare. Heck, it was his worse nightmare. Leo was the leader... Someone to turn to when there was no way out. Leo always knew the way out. Maybe that was why he was having such a hard time now. He sighed. Maybe they were right. He swallowed and ran off down the fire escape and into the sewers. He didn't see Don or Mikey, but knew they couldn't be too far ahead. He had to get home before he changed his mind. Halfway home, he got tackled to the ground, a staff across his chest. His eyes widened as he looked up at who had pinned him down. “Donny?” “Raph?” “You did come,” Mikey said from the side. He slid his chucks in his belt as Don got off of Raph and helped him up. “We thought you were Foot,” Mikey said softly. There was no spark of playfulness in his eyes, mostly likely due to the current situation and his recent blow up on the rooftops. “You were a little noisy,” Don added as he slid his staff back on his back. Raph couldn't even smirk. His head hung. “Yeah. I know. I just... don't want my mind to change before I get home.” “Well come on. Let's go then,” Mikey said urgently, taking on of Raph's hands and pulling him towards home. Raph saw Don shake his head before he was pulled around the corner by Mikey. A few minutes later, Raph walked into the lair behind Mikey. Don stopped beside them and the three of them stood just inside their home's entrance. “It's quiet,” Raph remarked after awhile. “Yeah,” Don whispered. “We don't have to whisper...” Mikey said, whispering himself. Raph ignored him and started walking in, tentatively at first then faster. He felt his mind waging against him, urging him to change his mind and run. Run from here and never come back. Swallowing hard, he made it within feet from the lab before he was stopped. Splinter stood in front of him, blocking his entrance into the lab. “Sensei...” “Raphael,” Splinter whispered. He stepped closer and wrapped his son in a furry hug. “You are home.” “Yes father. I am,” Raph said softly, hugging his father tight. He was home. He only hopped he could help fix things. “My son...” Raph quickly let go from his crushing embrace. “Sorry sensei.” “You must talk to your brother.” He nodded. “I know. But what if he doesn't listen? What if I say the wrong thing? What if...” “Shhh...” Splinter sighed. “It will be alright. Whatever happens will be the best for now. This might not be fixed today, but we must show Leonardo that things will get better. That he is welcomed back into our family. We care dearly for him and he must know this.” “Yes sensei,” Raph whispered. “You can do this.” Raph smiled very slightly. “Thanks sensei.” Splinter nodded and stepped to the side. “Good luck my son.” Raph nodded and took a deep breath, walking into the lab. He was determined to help his older brother no matter what. He wasn't going to let this get Leo down. That was what brothers were for. To help you up when you fell. And Leo needed his help. Whether he liked it or not. To be continued...
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Post by LilNinjaWolf on Dec 15, 2009 13:05:56 GMT -6
Chapter 21
Leo had made up his mind. He had to do this. It was the only way and it had to be done quick. Before he changed his mind. Even before...
“Leo?”
He shuddered and groaned. He didn't need this. Maybe if he ignored Raph, he would just go away.
“Leo...”
Silence echoed through the lab, slowly becoming very agitating to Leo.
“I know you can hear me Leo.”
“Just go away Raph,” Leo muttered. He didn't roll over from laying on his side to face his brother. Heck, he didn't even twitch. All he wanted was to be left alone. He didn't hear anymore from Raph, but knew he hadn't left yet.
A chair soon scraped across the floor, stopping right next to the cot Leo lay on.
“I'm not leaving.” Raph's tone was firm and gruff.
Leo refused to answer him. He didn't want to talk to him at all. He just desperately wanted Raph to leave. He couldn't carry out what he wanted to do if Raph was hovering over him like this. It just wouldn't work.
“Look Leo, I see you don't want to talk... This is hard for me too... but... uh...” Raph stopped talking and let the silence linger for a moment. “Uugghh... I CAN'T DO THIS!!”
The chair scrapped against the floor again and a pair of feet stomped away.
Leo thought he would feel better with Raph gone, but he didn't. He felt even worse. He curled tighter into a ball and just lay there, eyes squeezed shut. He could now do what he was going to do in the first place, but he didn't. He felt frozen to the cot.
After awhile shouts drifted to his ears and he knew that was his fault too. They were talking about him, arguing... He just wanted it all to stop. He tried to cover his ears, but their voices just couldn't be drown out.
“You're going to just leave it like this?” Don shouted.
“I can't do it Don!” Raph yelled back.
“Yes you can!”
“Oh I'm sorry. Would you like to try to kill Leo and then talk to him? Explain everything that went on in your head?”
A few moments of silence stretched thin.
“No?” Raph demanded. “Well that's because it's HARD!!”
“My son!”
“Forget it Sensei. Not now. I... I can't!”
The voices soon died down and as soon as it was quiet, Leo retreated deeper into himself, blocking out anything and everything. He didn't want to hurt. He just wanted the pain of what he had done to go away. And he wanted it to go away badly.
He didn't know how much time had passed before he finally rolled over to stare outside the lab doorway. It was dark out there, which he hoped that meant they were all in bed. Slowly, he pulled himself off the cot and snuck over to the doorway. Peeking out into the darkness and seeing no one there, he crept forward. Leo half expected someone to jump out at him, but getting to his room with no interference didn't calm him. He felt like a criminal in his own home. He dropped down on his bed with a sigh and pulled the covers over himself. Maybe there would be an answer to all this in the morning. Maybe he would have the guts to pull off what he had been thinking about doing before Raph had come into the lab hours earlier. He sighed and slipped off into a deep, but troubled sleep.
---
Two days had passed and Mikey was not his usual cheerful self anymore. Not that he had been in the last few days, but it still was unusual for him to be unhappy for this long. He felt better. He knew Don and Raph did too. The cure had done it's work. Don was sure happy for that, which made Mikey a little jealous, but that wasn't what was still making Mikey unhappy. No, it was Leo. His older brother was still troubled and Raph wouldn't talk to Leo. Or anyone for that matter. He just took out his anger and frustration on anything in the dojo. Mikey was happy to stay clear of Raph, but Don didn't. He tried once and awhile to get Raph to talk to them or better yet for him to Leo who needed to hear from Raph, but no such luck with that. Raph either ignored Don or argued with him, neither helping anything one bit. Leo on the other hand wasn't doing so great either. He never came out of his room. Mikey was surprised the morning just a couple days ago when he went into the lab to see Leo and not find him there. Nearly everyone had panicked until Don found Leo asleep in his room. Everyone sighed in relief at that and just let him be. But that wasn't going to work. Leo needed to heal and he needed it soon. Mikey couldn't stand the thought of Leo living like this for ever. Or even Raph for that matter. He sighed. Even Splinter had tried to talk to both Leo and Raph with no luck. Well now it was his turn. He wasn't sure about getting through to either of them, but decided he would try anyway. He walked to Leo's room first. He gulped and knocked on the door.
And waited.
And waited some more.
Minutes ticked by with no answer.
So he knocked again.
And waited.
And waited yet again.
“Give it up Mikey. He's not coming out.”
Mikey turned to face Raph, having half a mind to argue with Raph until he understood. “Hey, I'm not giving up on him. If you haven't noticed, he still needs our help.”
Raph actually sighed deflated and nodded. “I know Mikey. I know...” He hung his head and joined Mikey at Leo's door. He knocked. “Leo, let us in.”
Mikey was surprised Raph agreed so quickly. It have him a little hope as they waited for Leo to answer his door, but there was still no answer after a few minutes.
“Come on bro. We need to talk,” Raph said firmly.
They waited.
And waited.
And waited some more with more silence.
“He's not coming,” Mikey muttered, his hope squashed like a bug.
Raph huffed and shoved the door open, barreling inside. “Leonardo! We have to...”
Mikey blinked surprised at Raph, knowing he shouldn't have been. He quickly went in after him, nearly crashing into Raph, not seeing that he had stopped. “What's wrong dude?”
“He's not here,” Raph whispered.
“He's not?” Mikey came around Raph and had a look for himself. Sure enough, Leo was not in his room. “Then uh... where'd he go?”
“I don't know.” Raph scowled as he turned to Mikey. “But we better find him.”
Mikey looked at Raph, then Leo's empty and unmade bed. Leo always made his bed. He gulped and noticed Leo's room was more messy than it should have been. Things sticking out of their places or not even put away. Which meant only one thing... Leo was more troubled than they thought. “You don't think he'd...”
“I sure hope not Mikey,” Raph said in defeat. “Let's get Don and go find him.”
Mikey nodded and followed Raph out of Leo's room and down to the lab. Don was so busy working at his desk, Mikey didn't think they'd be able to pull him away from it if it wasn't for the fact that they needed to find Leo.
“Don we need to search the lair. Leo's not in his room,” Raph said.
“So?” Don asked, not looking up.
“So we need to find him. You know he hasn't been out of his room since he went in there a couple nights ago.”
“You should see his room Donny. It's a mess,” Mikey spoke up, desperately needing to convince Don to help search. What if Leo wasn't even in the lair? He swallowed, trying to ignore that thought. “Leo never leaves his room that messy.”
Don finally looked up at them and slowly put his screw driver down. “Ok. Let's spread out and search the lair.”
Mikey nodded quickly, glad that they were going to look now. He would feel so much better knowing where Leo was. “I'll take the kitchen.”
“Just don't go eating something while you're in there,” Raph muttered.
“I know that,” Mikey raised his eye ridge at Raph, then turned and headed out of the lab. Entering the kitchen, he didn't see anything. Just a mess from this morning's breakfast, which once again Leo had not joined. He walked deeper into the kitchen and looked every where a turtle could hide if Leo was just trying to hide from them. A few minutes later, confirming the kitchen was empty, Mikey sighed. He spied his bag of chips lying on the counter and how tasty the chips inside looked. He shook his head. “No. We're supposed to be looking for Leo.”
The chips sat there... tantalizing... tasty.... calling for him...
“Maybe just one...” Mikey snagged a chip from the bag and ate it. “Or two...” Before he knew it, he had eaten half the bag without even remembering to go join his brothers to see if they had found Leo yet. He shoved in one more mouthful and exited the kitchen.
“Are you eating again?!” Raph demanded from the left, making Mikey jump.
“Uh... no...” Mikey answered with his mouth full and swallowed. He smiled sheepishly. “Find anything?”
Raph seemed to deflate and loose all his anger at the mention of their older brother. “No.”
Mikey lost all interest in his chips and sighed. They just had to find Leo. “And you guys looked everywhere in the lair?”
“No, I forgot to look wherever your brain is,” Raph snapped. “Of course we've searched everywhere!”
“Ok, ok dude. Calm down.”
“I am calm!”
“Sure you are,” Mikey said slowly as he saw Don come up with his tracker. He was never so grateful to see the brainy turtle. Especially since Raph looked like he was suddenly in a mood to clobber him. “Did you find his signal?” he asked hopefully.
Don frowned. “No...”
“No?!” Raph demanded. “How're we supposed to find 'im if we don't even know where to search?”
Don looked up and glared. “How about being patient for once and letting me explain?”
Raph glared back and crossed his arms.
“Well Donny?” Mikey asked, desperately wanting this glare contest to be over so they could find Leo.
Don blinked and looked at Mikey. He sighed and turned his attention back to his tracker. “There's no signal now, but there was a couple hours ago.”
“And that means...” Mikey started, trying to figure it out.
“Our signals are recorded for the past twenty-four hours. We can trace Leo's signal from the lair to where it disappeared,” Don explained.
“And we'll go from there,” Raph concluded.
“Yes,” Don nodded.
“Let's go,” Raph muttered, walking to the lair door.
Splinter stood in front of Raph, blocking his way to the door.
“Woah sensei, where'd you come from?” Mikey asked, clueless as to when the rat master had come out of his room.
“My room,” Splinter replied calmly.
“We're going to find Leo,” Raph told him impatiently.
Splinter nodded. “I know. I want you to be careful. We do not know that state of Leonardo's mind. He may be more troubled than we think if his room and his mood is any indicator.”
“You've seen his room?” Mikey asked, surprised at how much Splinter knew. Well, he shouldn't be surprised about that. Splinter found out about everything. But he was still surprised anyway.
“Yes my son. It troubles me,” he said softly. “A great deal.”
“We'll find him sensei,” Raph spoke up.
Splinter nodded and stepped aside. “See that you do. And be careful.”
“We will,” the three of them chorused to their sensei.
Splinter nodded, putting both hands on top of his walking stick and leaning on it.
Raph closed the distance to the lair door with Mikey and Don on his heels. The door opened silently to the tunnels of the sewers. “Let's go bring him back,” Raph muttered.
Mikey walked behind his two brothers as they stepped out into the tunnels. They followed Don's direction, hoping to bump into Leo soon. That was soon short lived as an hour passed and they were still following Leo's earlier signal.
“Are we there yet?” Mikey asked.
“Mikey!” Raph yelled.
“What? I'm worried...” the orange banded turtle admitted.
The tunnel quickly quieted.
“We are too,” Don whispered finally. “We're should be almost there.”
Mikey nodded even though he knew Raph and Don couldn't see him nod while he was still behind them. He sighed and hopped that Leo was alright. It looked he was still in the sewers since they had been for the last hour, but that didn't mean anything. Leo could wander the sewers for hours before deciding to go up top. He worried that Leo already had gone up and had run into a group of Foot ninjas, but he dismissed the thought. He couldn't think about it. He didn't even know how Leo's fighting skills were anymore. Sure he was tough when he thought he was still Shade, but he remembered now. He was Leo again. And in Mikey's mind, his older brother was breaking. “Tell me why we didn't just call him?” he whined.
“Cuz it might spook him,” Raph muttered.
“We don't want to upset him and have him run all over the city,” Don said. “He's secluding himself and until we find him and can talk face to face, we have to respect that. Or he might not listen...”
Mikey nodded to himself again. “Makes sense. I think...”
Raph snorted, but kept quiet.
They walked for awhile longer before Don stopped in his tracks, staring at the ground.
“What is it?” Mikey asked.
“Leo's shell cell,” Don said, bending down to look at it.
Mikey came around Don and looked at it, crumpled to pieces on the ground. “Looks like it's been stepped on.”
“Yeah, I think you're right Mikey,” Don agreed.
“Well that's unusual,” Raph grumbled.
“That I'm right?”
“Yes.”
Mikey stuck his tongue out at Raph.
Don hit Mikey over the head. “Quit it.”
“Ow... hey Raph hits me, not you.”
“We need to focus.” Don looked at the busted shell cell again, then the area around them. “It doesn't seem to look like their was a struggle here...”
“Does that mean anything?” Raph asked, raising an eye ridge.
“Well, technically no... but it's better than finding a blood stain or something,” Don answered.
“True,” Raph admitted.
“Leo's has to be around here somewhere,” Don said, looking off at the two tunnels that branched out from their position.
“Let's split up,” Raph ordered.
Don nodded. “Works for me.”
“You and Mike take that direction,” Raph said, pointing right. “I'll take the left.”
“Ok, but remember, be careful if you find him. We don't know what he's thinking or doing,” Don advised.
Raph nodded and started heading left. “Noted.”
Mikey headed right with Don. He was silent for the longest time. “Will we find him?”
Don sighed. “Yeah. We will Mikey. We will.”
The two headed on, trying to find their older brother, hoping that they would find him soon. Mikey wanted Leo back, not just in the physical sense, but in who Leo really was. He really missed him. Even Leo's arguments with Raph. He would give anything to hear those two arguing over anything. He sighed once again. 'We'll find you Leo. I promise. And we'll help you.'
To be continued...
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Post by LilNinjaWolf on Dec 15, 2009 13:06:32 GMT -6
Chapter 22
Leo sat up on the pipes high above the sewer junction, staring off unfocused as he mind wandered completely focused on his thoughts. He had snuck out of the lair hours ago. He couldn't stay there anymore, couldn't face his family. The only way to do avoid them was to lock himself in his room and even that didn't seem to be working out too well. He heard their footsteps come up to the door every once and awhile. Sure they didn't say anything, but then again why should they? He had intentionally tried to kill them. He worked with the Foot for goodness sake! Who could forgive that?! Nobody. Nobody would ever understand either. Turning against your family was in no terms honorable, even if you didn't know the ones you were attacking was your family. True, he had gotten the vile from the Shredder's tower that saved his family, but yet again that was not to help them. That was to ensure his own safety! He wondered if the Foot even noticed Shade was missing. He doubted they would care anyway. None of the Foot ever cared about what they did. That's why they always attacked him and his family. He growled. “Dishonorable cowards,” he muttered under his breath.
He swung his legs back and forth, his hands in his lap, thumbs twiddling. He was right a few days ago. There was no other option. He couldn't bring himself to carry the job out in his own room. There were too many memories there. And anywhere else in the lair was not going to work either. He didn't want his family finding him. They didn't need that. So that was why he had snuck out. To do what he had planned all along. And now was the time.
Leo gulped wondering if he had the guts to do this.
He scowled.
Yes. Yes, he did have the guts to do this. He'd faced many battles with the Foot and lived. There was no way he couldn't do this. It was just impossible.
He stared at the churning water beneath him. The way it swirled and turned, spinning with speed. Nothing would get out from that. Or anything that did would not be alive whenever it did make it out.
And that's what he wanted.
But he didn't want to go that way. No, he couldn't drown himself. He could disappear that way, but he wanted his death to be instant. Drowning wouldn't quite be instant. At least not as soon as he wanted.
Leo stood up on the pipe he was sitting on. He slowly unsheathed one of his katana, a metallic ring echoing in the junction he had escaped to. He held it in front of him, looked at his expression in the side of the blade, and sighed. He looked pathetic. The katana didn't. It looked shiny and pristine, well taken care of. As it should look for all the time he had spent working on it after every work out over the years.
He shut his eyes and put the point to his chest, felt the sharpness of his blade quiver just slightly as his hands shook. It would go straight through his heart. The fastest end possible.
The blade shook harder.
Leo opened his eyes and pulled the katana away. The blade continued to shake hard in his hands. He scowled. His blade never shook in his hands. Ever.
He sighed and glanced at his reflection in the katana again as soon as his hand stopped shaking it. He didn't like what he saw in it.
He saw fear. Raw, cold fear.
And regret.
Regret for for attacking his family, for disappearing on them, for entering a building that ended up burning down a year ago.
Leo swallowed. There was so much regret. He didn't want it to end. The regret yes, but not his life. He didn't want to go through with this, but yet at the same time... he did. He had to. Honor demanded it. There was nothing worse than betrayal. Especially betrayal to your family.
Slowly, he slid his beloved katana back into his sheath, metallic ringing once again, and reached into his belt and pulled out his tanto. He glanced into the blade, saw the same reflection staring back at him.
It was time.
Leo swallowed again and pressed the blade against his wrist just to make sure he could go through with this. He hated failure. He couldn't fail this.
He braced himself and quickly pulled the blade across his skin, flinching in the process. His head tilted to the side as he saw the blood drip down, slashing onto the pipe he stood on before slipping down to the churning water beneath.
Yes. He could do this.
Leo's left hand fell to his side, dripping blood at his feet.
His right hand put the stained tanto to his chest.
He gulped.
“It's time,” he whispered softly to himself.
Leonardo pushed the tanto in slightly, felt a little bit of pain. He half smiled at the feeling. No more emotional pain to deal with. No more failure. No more letting his family down. It would all be over soon. The thought bringing him just a little bit of peace as he prepared to push the tanto all the way in.
To be continued...
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Post by LilNinjaWolf on Dec 15, 2009 13:07:04 GMT -6
Chapter 23
“LEO!!”
The call rang out echoing in the sewer junction.
Raph ran, trying to got faster, but everything seemed to slow down into agonizing seconds. He saw Leo press the tanto to his wrist, saw him slash it open, the blood dripping down as his hand fell to his side once more. Leo's back was to him, but he knew the moment his brother's right hand raised it was going to happen. Leo was going to finish himself off! So he called out. Long and loud in hopes of stopping his brother before it was too late.
Leo jerked as his name echoed to him. He whipped around on the pipe, staring at Raph with wide eyes, slipping on his own blood in the process. His arms waved in the air as he tried to keep his balance, the tanto flying out of his grip in an instant. His eyes widened even more as slipped off before he could even stand up straight, plummeting toward the rushing and swirling water beneath him.
“Leo!” Raph burst into a faster sprint and dove for the edge of the whirlpool, grabbing Leo's left hand just before he touched the water.
Leo slammed against the brick of the ground, head smashing against it after Raph grabbed him, and quickly became limp.
Raph sighed in relief after catching Leo. He gritted his teeth as he felt Leo lose consciousness. He felt stickiness where he had a hold of Leo's wrist. He glanced at it and found it to be the one he had seen Leo cut. “Crud. Leo why'd you have to do that?” he muttered in frustration.
Laying on his stomach, holding Leo by the one wrist, Raph reached and tried to get Leo's other arm to better pull him up. “Come on... come on...” he murmured.
With a lurch, he managed to grab Leo's lower right arm and gripped him better. Relieved that he wasn't going to drop his older brother into the churning water, he started tugging Leo up, being careful with Leo's cut wrist. He grimaced. He had to get that bandaged up fast.
Having Leo halfway over the edge, Raph's cell starting going off. Loudly against the stillness Raph felt at seeing his older brother unconscious. After pulling him all the way up and a great deal away from the water, he pressed one hand on Leo's bleeding wrist and with the other he ripped out his cell and answered. “Get over here!”
“You found him?” Mikey asked hopefully.
“Yes. At the east junction. Now get over here,” Raph repeated frantically once he saw blood oozing from Leo's chest. He snapped the cell shut and pressed his other hand on the wound on Leo's chest. Both hands covering a bleeding wound on his older brother, Raph grunted. “You're an idiot you know that?”
He scoffed.
“I'm sure you know that or you wouldn't have tried this.”
Raph growled with more frustration and hurt. “Why couldn't you just talk to someone? You're so stubborn!” Raph vented while he waited for Don and Mikey to come. He was never so scared in his life seeing Leo high up on that pipe with every intention of not coming down alive. His anger soon turned partly on himself as well. Why couldn't he just get over himself and talk to Leo? He was just as big an idiot as Leo was. He could have changed this, but had refused to do something about it, letting it come to this. He shut his eyes tightly, trying to block out the thoughts. He had to be strong. He always was and wasn't going to start acting weak now. Leo needed him. And he would help his brother. Whether he wanted it or not.
“Leo!” Mikey yelled.
Don was ahead of Mikey by just a fraction as they ran into the junction.
Raph was very much relieved to see them. “'Bout time you two got here.”
Don slid to a stop, kneeling next to Raph and Leo. “Let me see...” He gently pulled Raph's hand off of Leo's chest and inspected the wound. “It's not that deep,” he said obviously relieved.
Raph sighed as well. It had looked pretty bad to him.
Don reached into his bag and started cleaning and patching Leo's chest as best as he could.
“What happened?” Mikey asked, standing next to his brothers. His voice shook he saw the blood, both on Leo's chest and sneaking out from under Raph's hand on Leo's wrist.
“He tried to off himself,” Raph muttered.
“These wounds aren't enough to do that,” Don said softly. “But had that chest cut been a little deeper, it's possible it could have been fatal.” He lifted Raph's hand off of Leo's wrist and started wrapping that as best as he could. “I'll have to do more back at the lair, but all the bleeding should be stopped.”
Raph nodded. “Good.”
“Why is he unconscious?” Mikey asked.
“His head hit the stone when I caught him,” Raph said grimly. “He slipped while up on the pipe up there and fell. I caught him, but the blood on his wrist made him slip a little from my grasp and he swung into the stone.”
Don inspected Leo's head. “His head looks to be fine, but I'll have a better look at home.”
Both Raph and Mikey nodded.
“Raph, you and I will carry him home. Mikey, you run ahead and inform Splinter when you get there. Also get a bowl of hot water and bring it to the lab,” Don ordered.
Mikey saluted. “On it.” He took off out of the junction.
Raph watched Mikey jog off for home and then turned his gaze down to Leo. “Idiot,” he couldn't help but murmur again.
Don sighed. “Come on. Help me carry him.”
Raph nodded and, with Don's help, picked Leo up and started for home. He didn't say anything else as they walked. He didn't know what to say even if he wanted to talk, not that that was his style. No, he was never one for talking. Raph scowled. That was what had gotten them to this mess. If he would have just gone and talked to Leo maybe they wouldn't be carrying Leo home like this. He might not have listened right away, but maybe he wouldn't have gone this far.
Raph sighed. Leo was worse than he wanted to believe. He had to fix this. As soon as Leo woke up.
As soon as they got to the lair, Splinter and Mikey were waiting for them, a sad look in both sets of eyes. Raph and Don laid Leo on the cot in the lab as Mikey and Splinter crowded a little close.
Raph instantly dragged a chair close and refused to leave Leo's side as Don continued to patch Leo's wounds up and check his head where he had hit it. He wasn't going to leave Leo's side. Not again. He had gone to Leo's closed door so many times just trying to get up the courage to talk to Leo. Tell him sorry he for what he tried to do. He knew Leo knew. He saw it in his older brother's eyes. And he wasn't going to leave Leo alone again. Not after this morning. Finding Leo gone from the lair and trying to kill himself. No. Never would Raph let something like this happen again. Ever.
To be continued...
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Post by LilNinjaWolf on Dec 15, 2009 13:08:05 GMT -6
Chapter 24 Leo's eyes fluttered before falling shut again. His head pounded, his wrist ached, and his chest pounded. He felt the air flow in and out, pulling at his aching chest. He swallowed thickly. He was alive. That was not good. He wasn't supposed to be alive. He failed. His mind started to weigh down on him. His breathing increased slightly. “Why?” he whispered. “Why?” “That's what I've been asking myself for awhile now,” a voice pushed through his thoughts. Leo pushed his eyes open and saw a blurry image of Raph. He blinked, the images clearing. “Where am I?” he asked faintly. “Home,” Raph said roughly. “Where you should be.” Leo sighed and let his eyes fall shut. “I don't belong here,” he mumbled. Raph scoffed. “That's not true and you know it.” “Whatever you say,” Leo said. He didn't have the strength to go into an all out argument with Raphael. He didn't believe Raph, but wasn't going to say so. He'd just wait until Raph got fed up with him, then he'd be free to sneak out and try again. The second attempt would work. He was sure of it. “Are you even listening to me?!” Raph blasted. Leo sighed again and looked up at Raph hovering over him. “What do you want?” he asked wearily. “You to just listen!” Raph yelled. Leo winced, the yelling hurting his aching head. Raph stood silent for awhile, breathing hard. The silence stretched for quite awhile. “Calm down before you break something,” Leo said absently. “Calm down? Why don't you calm down? You almost killed yourself,” Raph growled, dropping down into the chair by the bed. “Yeah I noticed,” Leo replied, his gaze turning up to the ceiling. “It should have worked.” Raph grunted. “It's only going to work if we don't care.” “You don't.” “Yes we do.” Leo shrugged. “I haven't seen them come talk to me. I haven't seen you either. Or sensei...” He turned his gaze back to Raph. “You tried to kill me.” Raph seemed to instantly deflate. “Leo... I... I didn't meant to...” “I just want to be out of your way Raphael,” Leo said bitterly. “I don't want to hurt you. Or the others...” Raph blinked and blew out a breath of air. “You won't hurt us. And I... I... I'm sorry. I never meant to try to hurt you. I just wanted you back. The real you. And I didn't have the patience to wait.” Leo listened to his words, but still felt bad. Still felt the pain of how he shouldn't even be here. But he also knew Raph almost never apologized. It was hard to ever get him to do that. “I forgive you,” Leo said softly. A tear trickled down the side of Raph's face. Leo absently starting rubbing the wrist he had cut and then started to sit up. Raph blinked back the tears and wiped his face with one hand while gently pushing Leo back down with the other. “You're not going anywhere.” “Raph...” “No Leo. If I let you out of my sight...” Raph's voice slowly hardened back to his normal self. “You might try again.” “I told you I don't want to hurt you guys,” Leo said firmly. “And I told you that you won't,” Raph stated more firmly. “I won't let you try again. The others don't want that to happen either. They care about you too.” “Then why aren't they here?” Leo asked, frustrated at being forced to lay back down. “Why didn't they come talk to me before? Why was I left alone in my room?” “We did come to you Leo. Well mostly Mikey, but each of us did. I just chickened out every time when I tried to talk to ya.” “You? Chickening out?” Leo asked in disbelief. Raph nodded. “Yeah. I did. Now what's it going to take to make you believe me? I never meant to hurt you. We all care about you. And you will never hurt us.” Leo took a deep breath. “I did hurt you guys. I attacked you, held Donny hostage to get you guys to the park...” His face twisted, his hand picking faster at the bandage on his wrist. “I hurt my own family.” Raph took Leo's hand, pulling it away from trying to pick at the bandage around his cut wrist, and gripped it tight. “You weren't you. Donny says you had amnesia. Had ya remembered, I know without a doubt ya wouldn't have hurt us. Believe it Leo. I ain't leaving 'til I've convinced ya.” Leo half chuckled, wilting into the bed he lay on. Something seemed to have changed inside him, like a realization, a weight lifting from his over burdened mind. “What?” Raph asked, arching an eyeridge. “You don't know how bad I wanted to hear that,” Leo said softly. Raph blinked. “Really?” “Really,” Leo repeated. He gave his brother's hand a squeeze. “It's still hard, but I believe you.” Raph laughed. “Good.” “Hey dudes, what's going on in here?” Mikey asked walking in. “Leo! You're awake. How're you doing?” “Sore,” Leo admitted. “But alive.” “You sure scared us,” Mikey complained. “I know. I'm sorry,” Leo said as Don and Splinter walked in. “There is no need to apologize my son. But do not do that again,” Splinter said, a twinkle in his eyes. Leo smiled. “I won't Sensei.” It felt really good to smile. He was such an idiot, thinking how he had been. He looked around at his family surrounding him. He saw nothing but love in their eyes. His own eyes teared up. “What's wrong Leo?” Don quickly asked. “I've missed you guys so much,” Leo whispered. “Well, I have to admit, so have we,” Raph spoke up. “Big time!” Mikey added. Leo's smile returned. “Thanks.” “No problemo bro. That's what family's for,” Mikey said with a big smile. Leo chuckled. It felt so good to do that. He really was needed, loved, and not blamed. Imagine that. He could see the truth in their eyes. And that thought warmed his heart enough to give him the strength to go on. To get back to normal. Because he was a part of the family. Because he was their brother, a son to Splinter. He wouldn't let them down. If he was ever to die, it would be in battle, not by his own hand. “Hey Leo?” Mikey asked. “Yeah Mike?” “You ever wonder if the Foot wonder's what happened to Shade?” Leo arched an eyeridge. He'd never thought of that. “Well I'm not going to tell them if that's what your asking...” “No way! Leave them guessing,” Mikey laughed. Raph chuckled. “One mystery we'll never help them with,” Don added. Splinter smiled slightly, but remained serious. “Do not over estimate them. They may find out.” Everyone stopped laughing. “Never,” Leo said. “We'll always be prepared.” “Always.” Raph stuck his fist out. “Ditto.” Mikey put his hand on top of Raph's. “Same.” Don's hand joined in. “Right.” Leo slapped his hand on top of his brothers'. He looked at Splinter who nodded and gently laid his hand on Leo's. “Because together we are a team,” Splinter said firmly. “Always!” the four brothers chimed in together. --- “Shade is no where to be found,” Hun reported. Saki smirked, sitting at his desk, his hand folded and laying on the wood in front of him. “So he failed.” “Apparently.” A knock banged against the door. “Enter!” Saki growled. The Elite Guard entered and bowed before Saki. Rising, the first one took a step forward. “Tech division says the cure they made has disappeared.” Saki sighed. “Do not waste my time.” “We have found out who is responsible and have a video feed from the hidden camera.” “Show me!” Saki ordered. He was not pleased with these games of how his ninjas got to the point. The Elite guard clicked a button and a hidden screen came into view, showing the video footage of Shade swiping the antidote and putting another vile in its place, before leaving the room. Saki muttered under his breath. “Shade?” he asked, but didn't sound entirely surprised. A tech came in and started messing with the video feed until it revealed Shade’s face. “Leonardo?!” Saki boomed, standing up from behind his desk, fists curled into tight balls. Hun growled. “He was supposed to be dead!” Saki roared. He picked up his gauntlet and slashed the desk in front of him, breaking it in two. “Find and destroy him!” The End
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Post by LilNinjaWolf on Dec 15, 2009 14:04:59 GMT -6
Here's a little deleted scene from the fic just before Leo sneaks out to off himself right before the beginning of chapter 22.
Deleted scene:
“What have I done?”
“What have I done?” Leo repeated in the safety of his room.
A full day alone in his room was now beginning to drive him mad. He was numb at first, but that was now worn off.
“What have I done?” Leo repeated for the third time.
“Who have I become?”
“How could I have attacked my own family?”
Leo shook his head.
“I didn't remember.”
“That still doesn't justify it.”
Leo paced some more, arguing with himself. He wanted to be free from these emotions, yet he couldn't. He couldn't redeem himself from what he had done. There was only one way to end it. And he found out he was scared to do it.
More like terrified.
His hands shook at the thought.
He couldn't carry this out.
Leo gulped. He had to.
But maybe not today. Soon he would work up the courage.
Very soon.
Footsteps came to the door of his room.
Leo froze and listened. “Don't knock. Please don't knock,” he begged in a faint whisper.
The footsteps shuffled away after a few minutes.
Leo let out a breath and slipped over to the far corner of his room. He leaned back against the wall and slid down to the floor. He wrapped his arms around his legs as he brought them to his chest and laid his forehead on his knees. “What's wrong with me?”
“Everything...”
Leo's eyes slid shut. “I cause them to worry. I go missing for a year. I argue with Raph. I don't even remember why we were fighting...” His eyes squeezed tighter, his grip around his legs tightening. “And then I turn on them. I attack them. Poison them. Leave them for dead at the hands of the Foot. Saving my own pathetic life.”
He wanted to scream. Oh, how he ever wanted to scream. But that would bring the others in here. That would cause them to concern themselves with him.
He couldn't do that. Couldn't talk to them. Not now. Not ever.
Tears leaked down his face. He just couldn't do it. He had formed a basic plan in the lab while he was still lying in there. Find his katana and push it straight through his heart. And he did find his katana. Right on the stand in his room where he always kept them when they weren't in his sheaths. He had no idea how they got there. They just did.
Leo bit his lip and looked up at his beloved blades.
With great difficulty, not from any injury, but from heavy emotion, he stood and crossed his room to the stand. One hand touched the hilt of the first sword, slowly lifted it off the stand. He held it in front of him, stared at his reflection. Seeing the tears running down his face just made him cry all the more.
Leo slowly put the tip of the katana blade at his chest. Right through the heart. Fastest way.
He stood there, frozen like that for what felt like hours before lowering the blade and putting it back on the stand.
“I can't do it...” he whispered sadly.
Leo retreated back to the corner and slid back down into the ball he had been in before, more tears streaming down, until he had cried himself to sleep.
Still, even in his dreams, he had no relief. He saw himself, dressed in a black trench coat, attacking his brothers. But this time there was no poison. Only two long, sharp blades. He saw it go through first Mikey, then Don. Raph soon followed, his katana going straight through his brother's chest. Splinter was last, injured beyond recognition. All of them were beyond hope. All of them dead. And there was only one sound he could hear after all this. Laughter. But not just any laughter. His own. His own cold laughter and the feeling that he actually enjoyed killing off his family...
Leo woke up nearly screaming, but clapped a hand over his mouth just before it came out. He bit his lip as soon as he pulled his hand away, shaking from the dream. No, not the dream. The nightmare.
The nightmare repeated itself as soon as he fell asleep hours later, and again after that during the night. He almost screamed every time. But he never did. His family never heard him. He still heard the footsteps come to his door every once and awhile. But no one ever knocked. No one ever tried to talk to him. Except for Mikey. He would try to get Leo to come out just to get a brotherly hug. Leo wanted to hug Mikey so badly. But he couldn't. Mikey couldn't handle what was on his mind. He couldn't talk to him. He couldn't talk to Don. His brainy brother would just analyze him like a machine that didn't work. Raph wouldn't even talk to him. He was afraid of his older brother, thought Leo was going to kill him. Leo swallowed. He couldn't even talk to his father and sensei. The words that would poor out would only disappoint his father.
The second night Leo had finally had the final straw. No nightmares. No more horrid thoughts. No more wishing it was over.
Now was the time to get this over with.
Now was the time to end everything.
And the only thing he had to do was to get out of the lair unnoticed.
His gaze drifted to the clock which read 5:15am. That wouldn't be too hard to do. Everyone would still be in bed right now.
Leo stood and yanked his katana off the stand, slipping them into the sheathes on his back. He strode to the door and yanked it open. Looking out, there was no one there. With a sigh, he slipped down to the lair door, opened it, and slipped out into the sewers. “Goodbye my brothers. Goodbye sensei. I'm sorry...” he whispered as the lair door closed, sealing him off from his family. He swallowed thickly and started his trek deep into the sewers. He had to be as far from the lair as possible. “Goodbye,” he whispered again, his heart weighed down with grief.
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