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Post by Japangirl on Mar 15, 2007 9:06:24 GMT -6
I don't know what this is and it isn't really good. I wrote it the beginning of an English lesson, when I was bored.
I feel the rage boil and rise. Once again my sense of reason is fading. Deep down I know I should stop. I know it, I'll regret it later. It won't do me any good and neither will it do anyone else good. But I can't stop, my senses only react to the provocative words shot at me and not to the calming sentences coming from the side-line. I start running. I know I'm running, I can see. But I can't feel it. And I don't hear the sound of my clinched fist hitting his face, even though I know it must make a sound. I don't feel that either. The only sense working is my sight, the others are blackened by the anger. That's why I don't hear another one coming from behind, wrapping his arm tightly around my neck. I have trouble breathing, I know it because I start seeing black spots. I realize that something's wrong when I hear my name shouted loudly into the night. Then I feel the pain. And I feel something warm run down my plastron. I still feel dizzy, even though my throat is free now. The ground is rough. I can feel it on my knees. Me head doesn't his the hard concrete, but a pair of strong hands. I try to, but can't say the words. "Thanks Mike. I love you bro." Those are my last thoughts.
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Post by jana on Mar 15, 2007 10:14:22 GMT -6
Wow...I don´t know why you think it´s bad, I think it´s great...*claps* cool
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Post by Japangirl on Mar 16, 2007 8:33:40 GMT -6
Thanks
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Post by jana on Mar 16, 2007 8:37:19 GMT -6
you´re welcome...so..umm Raph died in that story? or will there be a next part?
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Post by LilNinjaWolf on Mar 16, 2007 14:08:08 GMT -6
Wow! I reallly like it. A lot.
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Post by Japangirl on Mar 16, 2007 15:03:10 GMT -6
He died.
And thanks (: But I'm not sure I understand why you like it... It's so simple.
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Post by LilNinjaWolf on Mar 16, 2007 15:04:49 GMT -6
It's how it's written. I can see it. Because I write a lot I pay attention to how what I read is written so I can get better. You did good.
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Post by Japangirl on Mar 16, 2007 15:09:47 GMT -6
Thank you. That means a lot to me. Especially since I think I'm loosing my talent of writing...
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Post by LilNinjaWolf on Mar 17, 2007 9:57:55 GMT -6
You're welcome.
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Post by birdgirl on May 20, 2007 11:48:19 GMT -6
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Post by donnieee on Dec 10, 2007 9:51:02 GMT -6
That was really great.. Now I know how he thinks. I have allways been somewhat curious on the subject, Raphs thinking
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